Reasons you will never be as awesome as Brian May:
(1) He was the lead guitarist, a songwriter, and backup vocalist for Queen. He got to hang out with and bask in the jump-suited, moustachioed glory of Freddie Mercury. Being part of Queen alone makes him superiorly awesome, but additionally, (2) He was voted one of the top 100 guitarists of all time by The Rolling Stone. (3) He earned a PhD in Astrophysics from Imperial College in 2007 and is...
It's one of those days
when you’re tugging (too vigorously) at the bottom of your shirt to get it to come down and hit at just the right spot across your hips and you hear the stitching in the bottom seam tear and instead of rolling your eyes at your lack of deftness and patience you scream, “Goddammit, sonofabitch, fuckinga!” I foresee myself repeating this string of curses throughout the day.
I lay in bed from 3:30 until 5:00, not sleeping, but with my eyes closed and my nails randomly roaming over what skin they could reach. There is something soothing about gentle scratching, even if it doesn’t allow for rest. I got up at 5:00, stood over the kitchen sink, and drank a glass of milk while the cat rubbed his cheek on my foot and meyowled and purred. Then, I returned to the bed...
Why do the tornadoes always come at night?
This has excellent metaphor potential, but I’m too tired to see where it might take me. Someone else with more talent than me - take this, do something with it, and post it/send it back to me. The one thing I can think is that disaster brings out the absolute best and worst in people, both of which make me sad. xoxo
Maybe those of you with Facebook accounts are more selective than I am about from whom you accept friend requests, but if I remember a name or if it’s a family member, I pretty much accept. Honestly, I wouldn’t keep in touch with any of my cousins otherwise. That being said, I ignore the vast majority of the posts in my timeline, especially if they are long or appear to be some dumb...
I want to write
for fun and not for work so badly but my fucking back and legs hurt so much I can’t really think of anything else much less be creative.
Well of Knowledge
My dad asked me what ear wax was made of, and then we had a five minute discussion about it. Why do I know these things? Why can’t I remember important things, such as remembering I’m out of toilet paper while I’m at the grocery store? I make no sense, but I know what ear wax is made of. <shrug>
I feel helpless
when someone I love is going through something and there is literally nothing I can do to make it better.
Creepy, Crawly Insides
This is my every day.
TMI Alert: Courtesy
A doctor should warn you before he/she gives you a rim job with a cotton swab.
Extended Sleep Deprivation
is a curious condition. You can become so tired that you actually get hyper. Some people reach the point where they have a creative or intellectual breakthrough, almost as if in deep meditation or really, really high. Neither of these things happens to me. I just stumble around as if drunk, stare at nothing for extended periods of time, and … I forget my point. I think I’ll go two...
Things that get passed down
Earlier today, a friend of my parents’ delivered a sleeper sofa to my house from theirs. It has a cream background with a jewel-toned brocade pattern. Everything in my house is either earth-toned or black, but I need this little sleeper sofa for when I have guests. Since I don’t have a slip cover, and have no intention of buying one, I have thrown a bland, cream quilt over it in hopes...
Where can I find a "I'm sorry you married a...
The trouble with asking a friend for a favor is that it inevitably backfires. The favor may ruin the friendship or the friendship may fall apart before the favor is granted. I am in the second of the two scenarios. See, I have this BIG THING coming up this spring, and I asked a dear friend of mine’s husband to be part of it. Now, it looks as though they are headed for a divorce. I am so...
I had one last night, the “girl” version anyway. I thoroughly enjoy them. I was mattress shopping and had purchased three. All were too short and too narrow, but my lover and I “tested” each of them. We decided on the “Goldilocks” one - the one that wasn’t too hard and wasn’t too soft, gave soft support, and so on. It was the mattress on which I...