September 2011
28 posts
Ancient Aliens
Fluffy likes that show for the interesting and sometimes left-field hypotheses it introduces. I like it about as far as I enjoy seeing how orange the orange-faced Greek guy is and how wild his hair is.
Thing is, many of the people that believe we’ve been aided in development by visitors from other worlds act superior to those who believe that a god or gods did the same thing. I don’t...
I sat in the car and watched the rain hit the...
There were no streaks, no smears, no arcs of wet - only the rainwater that splatted, thinned for a moment, then thickened as it oozed down the slope of glass. My view of the outside became wavy, bubbly, slippery.
I thrilled when I twisted the wiper knob to hi. I smiled as the rubber whisked the water from my sight, flinging it clear so that it reformed droplets as it flew from glass to air to...
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"Because your kiss is on my list of the best...
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It is what it is.
I guess I’ll be losing a few followers over the next few weeks as people abandon Tumblr for “greener pastures.” Hey, you know, Tumblr was like this from the get-go — full of children, full of people with short attention spans looking for entertainment and quick escape. C’mon. You knew that. You had to. I mean, if I figured it out, surely you did. It’s why I...
Technology is great, until it fails.
Picture 300 people trying to log into computers that won’t connect to the server. Picture those 300 people who have set aside this one tiny window of the the day to do this thing, and now they can’t. Picture those in charge having a minor freak out before printing out the work and giving the people PAPER copies, like in the “olden days.” Picture how much happier those...
Rituals
Every morning and afternoon when I get on the bus, I sing to myself, “Get on the bus - the banana bus.” It makes me picture myself on a tropical island instead of on a bus filled with sweaty people who distract themselves with various electronic devices.
Am I the only one
who finds it more disturbing to go into a restroom stall and find shoe prints all over the seat than to find feces, urine, or menstrual blood?
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For a full minute
I honestly thought a guy on the bus was the “Hide your kids, hide your wife! They rapin’ everyobody up in here” guy.
Since I actually have a bit of time today,
I’m going to do a TMI. As usual, it will be disappointing in that it won’t actually get you to reveal anything embarrassing or overly-personal. However, it will entertain me. And that’s the point!!
Crazy sh!t I think of while sweeping:
My kitchen dinette set has four chairs. This week, I decided to swap them around. Think about it: if only one or two get used on a regular basis, the padding in the seats gets smushed unevenly. Well, most people might not think about it, but I’m obsessive like that.
A bit of background: despite my penchant for cleanliness, my house is overrun with spiders. Literally every corner has webs....
Meth is a hell of a drug.
I was checking my Facebook this morning, and the first thing in the feed was a post from a Facebook-friend who said, “I woke up this morning missing my big brother. RIP, Larry.”
Ah, Larry - the kind of pleasantly toasted, beautiful white boy that looked like he walked off a photo shoot for a J. Crew or American Eagle Outfitter ad. He cheated on his girlfriends, and they didn’t...
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For a good time...
watch UHF. “Weird Al” Yankovic, Victoria Jackson, Michael Richards, Kevin McCarthy, and many more star.
RAWR, SMASH!!
Me hate learning new software!
When I have a cold/sinus infection,
I always wonder if the excessive nose blowing, wiping, and rinsing is making my nostrils larger.
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Bad Horror
I have a thing for bad horror movies. Over the weekend, I saw two that, for the life of me, I cannot decide why they weren’t Mystery-Science-Theater-ed. I only wish I had the first clue about movie critiquing. I would so love that as a hobby.
The Unnamable - an 80’s movie version of the H.P. Lovecraft short story by the same name - In the first two minutes of the “film,”...
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“No Pain” and “No Gain”
tattooed across her thighs
well below the hem
of her babydoll shorts,
solid babydoll tee,
laceless silver sneakers,
over-sized blackout sunglasses
Jamaican flags on her over-sized headphones,
dip, dip, dip
those golden brown nuggets
in golden yellow honey mustard,
sip, sip, sip $2.39 Red Bull –
I wondered how much it would hurt
...
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Ad-lib
Fluffy: (singing) It’s a nice day to start again. Shamon.
Me: I think Billy Idol would be highly offended that you put “shamon” in “White Wedding.”
Playing bridge is a lot like sex - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
— Barry Weiss from Storage Wars
A shag haircut
died electric blue
styled as if by hurricane,
body so thin
in a plaid mini
black leggings
green low-cut Chuck Taylor’s,
hand clutching bag
for dear life
over her chest,
fingertips of the free hand
in her mouth
mercilessly chewed,
dark eyes looking
everywhere at once,
lost,
awkward -
God, she was adorable.
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Packaging
Fluffy and I usually avoid the chip/cookie/candy aisle of Publix when we grocery shop, but two weeks ago, I needed marshmallows in order to recreate my grandmother’s apple salad. I’m not generally a fan of marshmallows, but they add something irreplaceable to that salad. The Publix brand is called “Small and Fluffy,” which set me to giggling and teasing Fluffy about being...
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Foreshadowing?
Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy; I can tell. I bet you read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spangler: Print is dead.
—Ghostbusters, 1984
This cold makes me sound really sexy, until I cough. And cough, and cough, and cough, and someone says, “Are you okay? Do you have pneumonia?”
Hooked on a Feelin'
There are very few things in this world that make me feel so wonderful as when a person tells me that what I do has a positive impact on his/her life.
Therein, Summa finds her purpose in life, and she is content.
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Some things, you just can't "Like."
A Facebook friend of mine posted that she became a grandmother this afternoon. She is 34 years old, and her daughter is 14.
Yeah.
Antanjla Jnique
Bless your heart, but your momma was trying too hard when she named you.