Summa Cum Nihil

The Peak of Nothing

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A while back , my mother sent me an email with pictures attached. “What were you trying to do?” she asked. These were pictures from a book of children’s songs with music included. Yankee Doodle. Mary Has A Little Lamb. On Top of Old Smoky. 

I remembered sitting in the floor, angry because I couldn’t make my fingers do what she said they should do to play the piano properly. I couldn’t read music (still can’t). I looked at those happy Mother Goose-like children and puppies and birds and cats. Then, I took a blue pen from the mug on my father’s nightstand and scribbled out their eyes. I X-ed out all the boys and circled all the dogs. “What were you thinking?” she asked.

I don’t handle failure very well.

Filed under personal childhood

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For the love, my mother and I are so lame.

We talked on the phone for over and hour trying to get our tablets to update either Google hangout or Skype before we finally FINALLY both connected to video chat. I chased Spawn around with the tablet for 10 minutes, and then I had to go cook dinner.

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scottowilliams asked: Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to ten of your favorite followers

Five things I like about myself:

1. I am neat: I used to be very obsessive about this - a result, I believe, of needing to have absolute control over something in my life. Even if my work/school/relationships were crap, I had a clean place. I had a friend once who said she could eat off the floor in my basement. I’ve mellowed over the years, but I still have a place for every thing and want everything to be in its place. I keep a clean, orderly house, even with a toddler. It keeps me sane and provides me with mindless chores when my brain needs a break.

2. My hands: I have rather elegant hands (despite the writer’s callous on my right middle finger that I’ve had since first grade and other scars) and nice fingernails. I can actually use my fingernails as tweezers.

3. My eye color: sometimes blue, sometimes green, with a brown “fever spot” in the right one.

4. My hobbies: Both writing (Tumblr-ing and my novels) and gaming have introduced me to some of my favorite people and closest friends. Some of the best times of my adult life happened last October: Phil stayed with me for almost a week, and the week after, our gaming friends came from all over to meet for weekend-long pen and paper DnD.

5. My lack of filter: I find being blunt, and sometimes abrupt, cuts a lot of bullshit out of relationships. If they want to, my friends and co-workers can know exactly how I feel about anything. I’ve been told by a few people at work that they appreciate my honesty and my willingness to share my opinions. Let’s just hope my promotion and tenure committee feels that way in five years. 

117 notes

terribleminds:

gailcarriger:

Because I don’t think they are on tumblr and it needs to be posted here.

psst I’m on the Tumblrs

I thought the intention was to make us jealous of Wendig’s beard and Sykes’ nostril flaring abilities, but okay. I’ll go write.

terribleminds:

gailcarriger:

Because I don’t think they are on tumblr and it needs to be posted here.

psst I’m on the Tumblrs

I thought the intention was to make us jealous of Wendig’s beard and Sykes’ nostril flaring abilities, but okay. I’ll go write.

2 notes

Having a toddler means having peanut butter in everything. Yep, EVERYTHING. I got it in my eye tonight.

Oh, and boogers on everything, too. When I puckered up to give Spawn a kiss on the cheek, he turned his head and smeared snot all over my lips. I nearly dropped him trying to get it off. I will probably die now.

It’s been…something.

Filed under parenting Spawn

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When you have a kid, you work really hard to stop cursing around them, but they make you so furious, you can’t help cursing around them.

Filed under parenthood Spawn

5 notes

grainsnooker:

maybe I’m weird but I find people in aprons sexy as fuck

My grandmother (94) gave me several of her old aprons - dress aprons that is, the kind she wore when entertaining. Could I be missing out on something by leaving them stuffed in a drawer instead of wearing them? I don’t know. I don’t think it has them same effect when you wear an apron over jeans as it does when you wear one over a sundress.