Summa Cum Nihil

The Peak of Nothing

1 note

There is a mascara smear on the mirror in the bathroom. I imagine some 20 year-old girl brushing it on her lashes, leaning a little too close, then boop. The wand hits the glass. I hope to God she threw it away immediately, but judging by the state of women’s public restrooms, I’m going to guess she did the totally gross thing: she kept it and still uses it.

1 note

It’s been a long time

since I wanted to hug a student as badly as I wanted to today.

J: (pokes P, someone he does not know from Adam’s housecat, to wake him up)

P: Mumphr?

J: You know, you don’t have to be here.

Me: (happy sigh)

Dear J, thank you for saying something akin to the rude thing I wanted to say. Now, if we could just get the guy who says what he’s texting while he’s texting in class to shut the fuck up, this might look more like college and less like high school.

Filed under work teaching college

2 notes

Analogous

Me: (snicker)

Fluffy: What?

Me: Just…the way my brain works. I was thinking about mayonnaise and how people call it aioli to make it sound fancy. I remember seeing a cooking show where this chef made it “by hand” by whisking it like “Hoh-hoh-hoh, if you use a food processor you are lazy and your sauce is shit.” I was thinking that’s a lot like the difference between (motion two fingers toward my crotch) and using a vibrator. Let’s face it, the electric method is faster and with better results. 

Fluffy: (laughs and shakes his head)

Me: Yeah, I know.

32,430 notes

whitebrowndad:

fuckyeahsugardaddy:

humansofnewyork:

"I’ve been a deep believer my whole life. 18 years as a Southern Baptist. More than 40 years as a mainline Protestant. I’m an ordained pastor. But it’s just stopped making sense to me. You see people doing terrible things in the name of religion, and you think: ‘Those people believe just as strongly as I do. They’re just as convinced as I am.’ And it just doesn’t make sense anymore. It doesn’t make sense to believe in a God that dabbles in people’s lives. If a plane crashes, and one person survives, everyone thanks God. They say: ‘God had a purpose for that person. God saved her for a reason!’ Do we not realize how cruel that is? Do we not realize how cruel it is to say that if God had a purpose for that person, he also had a purpose in killing everyone else on that plane? And a purpose in starving millions of children? A purpose in slavery and genocide? For every time you say that there’s a purpose behind one person’s success, you invalidate billions of people. You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that’s just cruel."

This whole world is going down because of religion and money.Think,open your eyes and react.

You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that’s just cruel.”

When my grandmother was 88 (she is now 94), she asked me, “Why does God let people kill each other?” I could’ve told her what I really believe, but instead I said, “He doesn’t,” and left it at that. I didn’t see the point in having her upset with me and God.

whitebrowndad:

fuckyeahsugardaddy:

humansofnewyork:

"I’ve been a deep believer my whole life. 18 years as a Southern Baptist. More than 40 years as a mainline Protestant. I’m an ordained pastor. But it’s just stopped making sense to me. You see people doing terrible things in the name of religion, and you think: ‘Those people believe just as strongly as I do. They’re just as convinced as I am.’ And it just doesn’t make sense anymore. It doesn’t make sense to believe in a God that dabbles in people’s lives. If a plane crashes, and one person survives, everyone thanks God. They say: ‘God had a purpose for that person. God saved her for a reason!’ Do we not realize how cruel that is? Do we not realize how cruel it is to say that if God had a purpose for that person, he also had a purpose in killing everyone else on that plane? And a purpose in starving millions of children? A purpose in slavery and genocide? For every time you say that there’s a purpose behind one person’s success, you invalidate billions of people. You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that’s just cruel."

This whole world is going down because of religion and money.
Think,open your eyes and react.

You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that’s just cruel.”

When my grandmother was 88 (she is now 94), she asked me, “Why does God let people kill each other?” I could’ve told her what I really believe, but instead I said, “He doesn’t,” and left it at that. I didn’t see the point in having her upset with me and God.

(via girlnamedgoober)

4 notes

A fraud AND a failure.

Today, I learned that a problem I planned to solve and write a paper about for my job is not possible in the time frame I have. Instead, I need to have two papers written in that time.

I don’t know if I’m capable of keeping this job. Once I leave my office, I know I’m going to start crying.